KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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