i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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