with your own penis?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize