Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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