Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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