Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.

Fav 25 4028 1322
share tweet
(865): View more from Tennessee

i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat

Fav 14 1375 5157
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(740): View more from Ohio

hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara

Fav 14 980 5548
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk

Fav 4 1575 2817
share tweet
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.

Fav 9 2002 966
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

Fav 1 1506 737
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(229): View more from Georgia

He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...

Fav 8 1043 2739
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"

Fav 1 1242 581
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

At the bar in my pajamas again

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday

Fav 1 88 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT