New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.