I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
