We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
