Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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