I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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