apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
