I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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