i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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