Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
