you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
