Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
