If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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