do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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