You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
