Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
