i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just found puke in my bra..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
