I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
