I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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