I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
