My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Panties = found
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
