I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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