that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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