I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
