Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
