he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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