Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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