Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize