that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
