I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
