There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
