Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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