But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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