There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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