I think I died a long time ago.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
