She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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