somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
