i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
