If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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