My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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