I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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