Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize