The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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