i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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