I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
