Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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