Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
