carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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