these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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