the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
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