hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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