I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
