It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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