Swine flu. Run for my life!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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