i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
