1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
nut hugger
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
