eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize