no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
its not stalking. its research.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
two words: eviction party
it's great music for shaving your balls
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
