Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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