I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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