Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
