Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
4 words: hood of his car
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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